WHAT’S THAT COMING OVER THE HILL?

Is it a monster!?!

Is it a monster?!

No, it’s a group of armed Islamic militants so hell bent on the destruction of the West that they’d gladly give their own lives in order to massacre a few meaningless Infidels!

Oh right, well….just so long as it isn’t a monster.

I could go on for the next hour about how, in a way, it is a monster, but a monster that resides in the psyche of all Muslims who believe that they are in the midst of a cosmic battle which will only be complete when the entire world is one huge Islamic Super-state, but it’d be WELL borin’!

We don’t want people fallin’ asleep at their desks, hitting their head against the keyboard, inadvertently typing “I hate (insert your bosses name here)!” with their face and getting’ the sack now do we?

Boring well known fact – The Qu’ran says that you can not drink alcohol.

Exciting lesser known fact – The Qu’ran says that you can smoke green.

Confusing pseudo-fact – Every copy of the Qu’ran sold since 1973 contains 5 sheets of roach card to represent the 5 pillars of Islam and the word ‘Rizla’ actually derives from the Islamic ‘Al Riiz’ which means ‘to lung-fcuk’.

In fact, in the earlier days of Sharia law being stoned to death was actually one of the most honourable ways to die and involved no throwing of stones but instead the smoking of a bong so big that it doubled as a mosque.

I like Muslims though.

No, I do, honestly!! I know I rant like I’m standing for UKIP in the next elections but I’m not talking about moderate Muslims, only these mentalists that want to wage war on civilians in the most cowardly way possible. If Osama wants people blown up, why doesn’t he make the sacrifice that he encourages his followers to make? If he is the great warrior-prince bravely standing up to Western oppression, why is he cowering in a cave somewhere, only speaking to people via audio cassettes posted in secret to sympathetic TV channel, Al-Jazeera.

I’ll tell you why, cos he’s a liar, a coward and he’s only in it for himself. All he is the second most effective recruitment sergeant for Radicalised Islam. Who is the first you may ask…..well it’s kind of a tie between Bush, Blair and a hareem of others.

“Bush?!? Blair!?!? This is preposterous!!!” Cry buffoons everywhere!

The rest of this e-mail would be removed if I went on so I won’t. (Unlucky Echelon/MI5/MI6)

You know what I’m on about…..

I had better go….something’s just coming over the hill…

Love to all!